This Julius Agwu’s wife saga and the take of men is really interesting. I never expected men to be objective seeing that it’s their fellow gender that is suffering alone.

I once nursed a man in coma and he was married with kids. But it felt like we were nursing a man with no family. His wife never left his bedside, mind you. She was always by his side. But she never touched him. She never cleaned him up, never made his food except we shouted. Never did anything to show that she’s concerned about her husband’s predicament.

We later found out that he was a terrible husband. He would beat up his wife and sleep around. Now, he was in his most vulnerable place and she was finding it difficult to summon the love to care for him.

I had another patient who had an accident that left him paralysed. He went from walking with his legs to permanently losing his use of them. He would cry and lament tirelessly. He would cry and ask God why him. One day I decided to have a heart to heart with him. In course of that conversation, I told him that now was the time to evaluate how good a husband he has been to his wife. I told him that his treatment of her will go a long way to determine how much of a support system she was going to be to him now. After much talk, he thanked me.

Less than 24 hours, I heard him on the phone shouting on his wife. “I go wound you. You know say if I vex, I dey spoil something”. I was quite stunned. In my mind, I said “make I see how you wan take stand wound am”.

Whether we like it or not, human love is not unconditional and very few people will treat you well after you’ve treated them badly. While I am not supporting her decision to leave, I think it is pertinent to point out that he deserves it if he has been a bad husband to her.

Go to the hospitals. Women wards are never full with husbands. But when you pay a visit to the male wards, you see women who keep vigil by their husbands bedside and never leave.

You people have to make peace with the fact that today’s women are not like their mothers. They will not repay your disloyalty with loyalty. They give as much as they receive.

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