“With the recent happenings and news about domestic violence in marriages,I have decided to share my own story as a man who has endured every from of abuse from his wife since the first month of our marriage till date.

Our marriage is just three years old. My wife knows very that I’m a handy man and it’s what I get from my work I use in taking care of the family. I was the one who helped her get her job. I sold my car to finance our wedding. My wife only bought the asoebi clothes she gave her sisters. That was her only contribution.

Since we have been in this marriage, she insults me at any given opportunity. She would use so many demeaning words on me. I don’t usually react,all I do is walk away.

What she does with her income is none of my business,but anytime I send money to my family members, she would just pick a fight,abuse me and say all sorts of heartbreaking things to me. This is someone that most times when I get a contract,she would never support me. She would rather watch me source for funds from family members and close friends, but when I decide to appreciate those people that stick out their neck for me, she starts complaining.

One thing I learnt earlier is to never ask her for help or support of any kind because whenever she buys even if it’s water at home, she would ask me for a refund. The best way I decided to handle her is to just ignore her, focus more on my life, and that of my children.

Ever since we got married, her actions have made me stop communicating with my friends, both male and female. If I should talk to any lady,she would ask me what I’m I discussing with the person. Most times we do come across some of my classmates and childhood friends and she would feel so insecure.

Sometime ago, she made me lose out on a contract I had gotten and a part payment has been made already. I was in the bathroom, my phone rang, and she picked up the call. When she heard a lady’s voice, she started insulting her over the phone.

I came out and I asked who she was on the phone with. I checked my phone and saw who called,I told her it’s the lady that had the project I was to commence work on that day. While we were still discussing, a text message came in from same lady asking me to refund the part payment for the job. That was when she realized the consequences of her action. Right there in her presence, I transferred back the money. That was how I lost that contract. The person that referred me to the client called and was asking me what happened,I just told him it was my wife.

People have asked me to divorce her. I don’t want to separate my children from their mother, they are still too tender. I have promised myself that I would never raise my hands or voice at her because as a child, I never for once saw my dad raise his voice at my mum nor even hit her and I don’t think anyone can change me or make me do otherwise.

So many men pass through a lot in the hands of their wife,but when they speak out people won’t believe them. This is the reason why some have decided to be silent. The best thing to do as a man is to ignore and focus more on your life and that of your kids. Nothing pains a woman more than total silence when she is expecting you to react.


  1. It is not only women that are abused bytheir partner.So many men go through domestic violence and it should be reported and actions taken against the abuser.Nobody should be bullied, if the heat in the kitchen is too much get out. So many women in a relationship will feel that they are entitled and has no respect or regards for their partner.Exploits her partner financially, physically and emotionally.


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