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HOW MY FIRST LOVE MESSED ME UP.

It’s 3.32 am, and I can’t sleep.
I saw my matriculation pictures earlier in the day, and I can’t seem to forget the events surrounding that period, and the fact that I was 3months pregnant for my then boyfriend. No one knew about the pregnancy till date..

So it was 2008, I got admission to study in the federal University of the state we reside.

After secondary school, I worked and saved every penny I earned, knowing I had no one to sponsor me in University.

It was where I was working that I met him, I fell in love with him he claimed to love me back.
We did everything together! I was 19! He was 23.

So when I got the admission, I was happy and he was too. One thing led to another we had sex, when we found out I was pregnant he started avoiding me, I can’t remember all the emotions I felt, but I knew I wasn’t going to keep the pregnancy.. I mean, none in my family has ever brought an unwanted pregnancy home and I wasn’t going to be the first.

I was a chubby teenager, so it was easy to concel the pregnancy. And then it was finally time to go to school.

School was in the other party of town, so I had to live with an aunt who was a Clark in the University. Then I was two months pregnant already. I hide well from her, she was always complaining that I was lazy, that I like sleeping, that I was not fast at all that I am too sluggish, if only she knew!!

By then my relationship with the boy was already in coma, tho on my part I was still keeping in touch, someone that claimed to love me stopped calling, if I don’t call he won’t. Before I left for school, he told me he knows someone in that part of town I was going to school in that can take care of the pregnancy.

So part of the reasons I still kept keeping in touch with him was for address of the clinic and money for the procedure.

When I was finally ready I called him for the address and also money for the procedure, he told me he didn’t have money! I was mad!

I got the address from him, and made up my mind to do it the next day! I remember how I woke up the next morning, told my aunty I was going for 7am class! I remember how I got lost trying to locate the clinic, I remember how I kept calling him and he kept directing me on phone. Then I finally got to the place around 10am. I remember how I sat there alone not knowing what to expect, I remember crying and begging the doctor that I won’t do it again.I remember the look on the nurse face after the procedure when I told her I came alone.

I remember struggling to get home in pains, when my aunty asked me what the problem was, I told her I sometimes experience severe pains during my period, atlest that explained my discomfort and the drugs I was given to take.

The boy? I didn’t hear from him again till date! Not even a call to ask how it went, And I too stopped calling.

Do I regret what I did? NEVER.

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