FEMINISM: ” I Did Not Kneel Down To Collect The Wine and I Rejected My Pride Price”__ A Feminist Reveals how she did not go on her Knees to give her husband drink on her traditional marriage.
” I’m probably the ONLY NIGERIAN FEMINIST who had a Traditional Marriage Ceremony (with two Kings present) and still was able to NOT practice some things I consider extremely patriarchal.
- My knees did NOT touch the ground on my Traditional Wedding Day. I did NOT kneel down to give my husband or anyone drink nor did I kneel down to receive prayers. We both stood up while the elders blessed our marriage.
- I rejected the payment of bride price or any form of price on me.
- I contributed money in my Traditional Wedding. I didn’t wait for my husband to foot the whole bill. That’s why I CANNOT relate when some men say “after I have paid bride price and spent money to marry her.” These lines do NOT apply to me. We both spent money to marry each other. My husband married me and I married him.
MOST FEMINISTS on Facebook have NOT been able to kick against such.
Although I cringe when I see hardcore feminists succumb to some patriarchal practices like allowing bride price, kneeling down and swearing oaths of submission; I understand…. sometimes or not fully.
Your inability to fight against everything patriarchal does NOT make you less of a feminist. Some fights are too big for some people. And these changes won’t happen overnight.
The most important thing is that we are starting to speak out against these things, becoming more aware, and willing to train and equip our children to be stronger than us.
A few years ago, after I spoke out against bride price, a young woman came inbox to tell me that she got married recently and her bride price was paid. She agreed with me and swore that no man will pay anything on her daughter.
A man came inbox to tell me same thing.
YOU LOTS, feminists need to give it up for me mehn. I pulled off what most of you can’t.
And, if you are a young female feminist who is preparing to get married and want someone to coach you on how NOT to succumb to such patriarchal practices, my inbox is open. I’ll give you all the advice, strength and moral support you need.
I need more women to pull off what I pulled off. I don’t want to be the only one that did.
The Kings of my husband’s hometown (my father in-law) and my hometown were both present during our Traditional Marriage. They both declared us married and blessed our marriage.
The elders of my father and mother’s families all declared us married and blessed our marriage.
Ikoyi Registry issued us a Marriage Certificate which is recognized ALL OVER THE WORLD.
I had my cake, ate it, regurgitated it, swallowed it, and I’m still eating it mehn “