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DEAR YUL


I know you would think your family matter is not my business; but I also know that family matters should be private affair as much as possible. But I’m afraid your last marriage wasn’t. Maybe it was a public-private matter; maybe a Battle Royal. In which ever case I am vindicated to speak out. Besides, this marriage brouhaha has tarried online. The Association of Online In-laws (AOI), and the league of your fans, both of which I represent, had expected that by now everyone should have moved on, especially since the milk had already been spilt. And that as a matter of fact, this media marriage noises here and there, should have been pulled down and tucked away to die gradually in your family.
Unfortunately, each time we try to move on, your continuous outbursts about the marriage would touch us on our old and healing wounds.

In the light of the above regards, and recognizing that injustice to one woman is injustice to every woman, I felt the need to pen you a piece of our mind, and to simply tell you that you FLOPPED, and now you have left us disappointed. This is not so much because you got yourself a Judy Austin as second wife. No, a little far from that! But largely because of the careworn attitude as well as the sober-free manner you have chosen to go about the marriage. For me, this never-ending social media outcries about the puported marriage has only turned the whole thing into a drama and child’s play.
In a similar thought, the audacity in which the marriage is coming off, especially on every social media outlet may not be very palatable to your first wife, May’s emotional health, for this reason I dim it unnecessary. So calm down!

Come to think of it properly!
What you have done is tantamount to a breach of love pact and trust; as well as deception.
IT IS WRONG AND UNFAIR TO CHEAT ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER, BUT IT IS FAIR ENOUGH TO CHEAT RESPECTFULLY AND RESPONSIBLY.
However, to boast that you have the right to more than hundred wives in an initially unsigned second marriage after breaking your love pact and your wife’s heart, cannot be condoned in this 21st century. Not from a person of your social standing and exposure.
It is often said that he who wears the crown need not bear a streak on his forehead. Abroo, you have not lived up to this adage sir.
Did you by any means consider your wide fan base before taking this hefty decision and then bringing it up loud to the media? And if you think we do not matter in this, then think again because we are also learning from you. Remember, as the mother she-goat chews the curd, her children are watching. I hope you understand me now!

Talking about polygamy!
It beats me always, trying to figure out what the woman of one’s first love would be going through emotionally the moments she’s sure hubby is making love to another in the next room. Should she seek help outside or give herself “self-love”? Maybe I am not in the best position to answer this because I am not a woman. But personally, this doesn’t go down well with men of principles.

YES!
The traditionalist would say it’s in the culture of the Igbos to marry as many wives as they can cater for; and that our forefathers were successful with polygamy. It is pertinent also to remind this custom-freak folks that culture is dynamic and appreciates via education and exposure; and that a lot of factors also played well towards the success of Polygamy in the past as I will highlight shortly.

First, Christianity and Education have taught our conscience to treat others how we would want be treated by them. How could you have gotten yourself a “spare tyre” without considering same for your first love?
In most appropriate term, this is called cheating. And a selfishly motivated act!

With our forefathers polygamy was fun!
YES, because the respect and value system were not the same then as with us now. In those days, the relationship between head-wife and co-wives was more or less mother-daughter relationship unlike the rivalries and unhealthy competition that exist today. Remember that most second wives were often on the recommendations and approval of the head-wife. Polygamous marriage of our own time is now a breeding ground for confusion and ill-feelings which often will lead to witch-hunt in the sub-family groups and the practices of voodoo to outdo or subdue the other family.
Argue to your own detriment, there’s never true love or complete peace in a polygamous relationships. It is even worse when the second wife is more educated, has wealthier or influential family background than the first wife. Here, the head-wife is usually neglected and religated to the background. And I would ask myself, to where has the love you professed to her in the beginning gone? You lied to her right? You never loved her I guess!

Again, in those days, the man was rated based on the size of his household. The man had large compounds and vast portion of farmlands which commanded multiple hands for the manual labor system that prevailed. Today white-collar jobs, entrepreneurial ventures and machine system have efficiently displaced the primitive and manual labor method that existed with our forefathers.
So why would anyone need a second wife in this morden time if not for selfish purposes?
Inf fact, to cap it all, let me now define polygamy from the modern perspective, AS A BIASED SYSTEM WHICH GIVES MAN AN UNDUE MORAL RIGHT TO CHEAT PERMANENTLY ON HIS FIRST WIFE.

My suggestions!
You should apologise to your first wife, and to us your fans, because we too, matter.
Stop teaching us to get involved in polygamy. Make sure there’s peace in your family by treating your wives and kids from both women equally. Finally, kindly take this marriage off social media and leave us alone.

By the way, to where have you thrown your dream of ruling Nigeria? If you have lost it, I urge you to throw your full weight behind Mr. Peter Obi ,your brother, and together we can labor to give Nigeria the last chance to redeem itself, if not we can find the alternatives beyond 2023. I rest my case!
Dissenting voices are most welcome.
Peace!🙏

©Neduigweh™

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