Music, Uncategorized

WHAT YOU CAN’T EAT DON’T SMELL IT( REAL LIFE STORY)

Have you dated a werey in disguise before?
My experience with one.

During my uni days I use to have this beautiful babe that doesn’t allow me drink water and keep cup,she’s very beautiful and almost all the guys in my department wanted her for themselves. Olivia.

She was so cute and adorable,I mean if she can make even ladies lobby to be her friend then you can imagine.😁

And me I was already in a relationship with someone else who doesn’t joke with me either but she no dey gum body at all. Sometimes you can’t even see us together in skool for almost one week, asides that we were in different department respectively.

So one day Olivia called to tell me she wanted paying me a visit at home and I told her I’ll be going out but she pleaded that it was a harmless visit and nothing more.

I thought about it for a while and said ok no Wahala but I was hoping that madam won’t show up that day.

Boom Olly landed with a bag filled with foodstuffs and entered the kitchen and started cooking my favorite Ogbonor soup with enough goat meat and fish 🐟🐠.

I was on the bed watching movies and forming boss man and praying that madam shouldn’t mistakenly show up. πŸ™πŸ™

Food don done Olly served the food and as we just washed hands to eat devouring the sumptuous meal, that first lump I put in my mouth meal I heard fiammmm door opened and madam landed.

My heart did Iwashhhhhhaaaa! The taste of the soap changed to Abgo(herbs🌿).😒😏😨

My heart started pounding gbimm gbimmm gbim like fufu processing machine.

To my greatest surprise madam screamed Waooo! I waka well ooo. See food naaa 😊🀣.

She hugged me “Hey big bro”
Me in my head; Philomena mua big bro”?😲🀦

She then turned and said to Olivia Hey pretty βœ‹ with this genuine smile on her face. 😊😊

Olly gave her this cold response like “Wtf are you”πŸ™„ looks….

E didn’t even concern madam.
She washed her hands and started devouring the sumptuous meal with us,I was eating but I wasn’t tasting the food instead Abgo cus of fear of the unknown. 😭😭😭

I kuku washed hands stand up,she then asked me bros wetin happen naa?🀷🀷😳

Olly also washed hands and stood up,she didn’t even mind us. She finished eating and requested for takeaway.
Olivia said ok fine come get some….

These two left me and went to the kitchen and we’re gisting and laughing while I was in the room dying of gbimm gbimmm heart🀦🀦😒

They later finished and came to the room and madam said oya oo big bro ayam going oo abeg come give me tfair, infact no need she said as she walked to where I do Keep my wallet and took 500 from inside and hugged Olly and left.βœ‹πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸšΆπŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

Olly was like your cousin is so nice enhhh,hai!
Imagine her just meeting me for the first time and she’s this free. 😊😊

I was like;😳😳😳 if only you knew say na die I dey so, you for no dey yan this opata.

I was trying to relax and think straight boom text message came in from Madam “Big bro please use protection I beg”

Na there body kuku weak me,I just told Olivia babe that was my woman you just met and not my cousin as she introduced herself to be”😒

She just hasn’t seen me with any other woman before hence she acted all surprised and calm.
Please you have to go now we’ll see in school. πŸ™πŸ™

Olivia jumped up from the bed”What!! Your what? Obara Jesus oo!!!😳😳😳

Me;Calm down, she’s fine.
Olivia;Calm gini? You mean that the person we just ate with was your gal you told me about and she didn’t react ?😳😳🀦

Me;Yes she is! β˜ΉοΈπŸ™„

Olivia; Ewwwwwwu Chim, please call her on the phone I’d like to apologize to her biko!πŸ˜’πŸ™
Her maturity is scary I owe her an apology πŸ™

Me;No need, just lemme walk you to the gate.🚢🚢😊

When Olivia left,I called madam .

Me;Bae please where are you? Can you please come over immediately please is not what you think.

Madam;Has our wife gone?

Me;Bae please stop this, Olivia is just a friend and she has left immediately you left…

Phone drops….. πŸ“ž

Naso I take become single guy, Olivia I no date I still lost my relationship.

Olivia felt guilty for making me loose my relationship and promised never to date me but will remain a close.

Madam told me; What you can’t eat don’t smell it, that’s why I’m leaving you. 😭😭

Ordinary Ogbonor soup made me loose my precious relationship I suffered to get.
I nearly died,if you see me then you go pity me. 😭😭😒😒🀦

Few years down the line me and the werey jam for ShopRite Abuja come and see her jumping and screaming like she has seen a celeb.
This werey get mind dey invite me come her wedding….. πŸ™„πŸ˜­πŸ˜­

Philo you get luck say I no come that wedding I for dance go fall ya cake ijiot gal…. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

Lesson learnt; WHAT YOU CANT EAT DON’T SMELL IT.

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